Cycling to the Alps - for cheaper than the flight
So it was decided. My friend Jez and I were going to cycle from London to the Alps after Christmas. The 700-mile ride should take about a week and we thought we'd camp the entire way to make things more interesting. Jez doesn't feel the cold as much as I do. (He lives on a boat) I couldn't even last 10 seconds in a winter swim last year. I was really nervous that I wouldn't cope. On top of cold winter camping, neither of us took a tent. Instead we took a small bivi bag to protect us from the rain. (View kit list here)
"Best not to think of all the things that might go wrong. We'll cross those bridges when we get there", I thought!
So with a pretty lightweight setup of 20kg's, our mini adventure began.
Day 1: London to Dover - 75 miles
To get the cheap day return on P&O (£13) we had to take a daylight ferry (no idea why) so booked the 8.35am from Dover. Instead of wasting a day we decided to leave London the evening before and cycle through the night to Dover. We left Jez's boat in East London and went all of 500m before stopping at his local pub for him to say cheers to his mates. This naturally ended up with us having a pint while sorting final bits and bobs on our bikes. I am riding Maid Marian II, my RTW bike and Jez is on a Ribble Carbon. Eventually at around 8pm we left the warmth of the pub and hit the road South. Jez was clearly a confident London cycle commuter and was pushing nearly 25mph between traffic lights. I have an inherent need to conserve energy for 'tomorrow'. That’s just something you get used too when doing long tours. Jez was definitely faster than me on the flats. I'd have to step up my game to keep up.
"I'll get him on the hills though", I kept saying to myself.
By 10.30pm we had made our way out of London and past the busy M25 along the A2. We were making good progress even though I had a puncture quite early on, (pinch flat when I hit a rock while not concentrating) so decided to get a cheeky pint in at last orders in a small pub. The landlord was very friendly and a few people were amazed when we told them our plan. By 11.30pm we were on the road again and kept our heads down and by 3am we were 10 miles outside of Dover. We could get at least 3 hours sleep so found a farmers field, did some discreet trespassing and got into our bivi bags. I lay there thinking about our new mini adventure. I could tell that Jez was fit enough and we both knew how to make the most of even the worst situations. Jez has been my main crew man on a few rides as well as on RAAM coming up so knows what it's like. I was really excited about finally being able to cycle with him instead of him forcing me to drink recovery shakes. I was just drifting off when it started to rain. I pulled the bivi tight and listened to the pitter-patter on the fabric. It was quite therapeutic and should help me fall . . . . . "Beep, Beep . . .
Day 2: Dover to Arras - 95 miles
. . . Beep, Beep, Beep!"
Jez's alarm went off.
"Time to wake up mate."
What? I hadn't slept a wink. I felt OK considering I had been up for 22 hours by now but knew the grizzly bear was going to jump out and get me soon. Jez and I packed up quickly and made it to the ferry just in time. We boarded, found a place to charge our phones, and Jez went up first for food. He returned half an hour later.
"Sorry mate. By the time I knew it was going to take so long I couldn't leave the queue for paying."
"Nevermind. I think I'll skip food and try sleep."
I was breaking one of my own endurance rules - 'Food is more important than sleep' but this time I really needed some. I figured I could find some food in France. With that I curled up on 2 chairs and slept for about an hour.
The ferry got into Calais at around 11am (French time). It was raining and to add insult to injury we had a killer headwind.
"What's this Southerly? That's strange?" asked Jez.
I also thought we'd have a Northwesterly or Northerly this time of year. But we didn't and had to push along the flat boring parts of Northern France, only stopping a few times in a Tabak for some food and coffee. Things weren't going well. Our pace was right down at 9mph and there was nothing to see. Also everything in France seemed closed this time of year. Are the French in recession? If they are, then I know why. Most of the villages were like Ghost Towns.
By 7pm we needed to eat, warm up and have a beer. We were in a town called Auchel and found the only restaurant open. Turns out it wasn't a proper restaurant. You order your food and the bar lady goes next door to the kebab shop and gets it for you. Classic. Jez can luckily speak some French and it wasn't long before we were chatting to some guys at the bar. Jez was chatting. I was nodding and laughing at mostly the right places. They bought us a round of beer and even offered us a place to stay in their gymnasium down the road. We said thanks but needed to push on a bit.
We carried on and by 11pm we were in Arras. Dinner consisted of a footlong Italian BMT Subway and a few beers. Beards must be unusual in France because I saw a few people sneakily trying to take my photo through the window of the pub. I waved and they got really embarrassed and ran away. How funny!
By now we had been up for over 40 hours with only that hour of uncomfortable asleep on the ferry. I had never felt anything like it. My body was a total separate entity to my mind. My eyes were burning and my chest felt tingly. I really needed sleep. Jez looked a lot better than I did but admitted he too was tired, so after a few beers we headed out of town and found a garden next to a roundabout and lay down amongst the hedges. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard a loud bang. Jez's back inner tube had exploded. I nearly wet myself because his tyre was about a foot from my head. Oh well. Puncture repair in the morning. Fun! Slow day in the wind and rain but it felt good to be back out on an adventure.
Day 3: Arras to Soissons - 96 miles
We woke up at around 8am. A little later than expected but felt so much better for it. Sleep is so underrated. Jez fixed his tyre and we were on the road by 9am in search of food and coffee. I am glad Jez loves coffee as much as I do. We didn't find breakfast but did find a pizza vending machine and just had to try it. I'm not sure how it worked but within 3 minutes of paying a smoldering hot pizza came out the slot. It was actually very tasty. When the French to vending machines . . .
Today we decided to try and follow my GPS, which tends to take quieter roads. There was still a headwind but at least it was sunny. Our route carried on South through the rolling French countryside. Most of it was very scenic and missed the main roads, but every now and then we were taken down some pretty muddy dirt tracks. The first time was fun and added to the adventure, but the 4th time when it was dark and we were hungry certainly tested our patience. We could only go about 3mph while mud clogged up our race brakes and gave that blackboard scratching sound whenever we tried to slow down. I really must invest in some disk brakes.
By 6pm we had only done 75 miles so decided to stop at a supermarket, get some food and then push on. As we sat and ate our gourmet salami and cheese dinner in an empty car park a police van drove up and turned a spotlight as bright as the sun on us. They wondered what we were doing and we had to produce our 'papers'. Jez sailed through his checks, but my passport required a lengthy phone call to the CIA, the FBI and MI6 (probably) It might have something to do with the fact that I am clean shaven with a crew cut in my passport. Not even I believe I'm the person in the photo. Eventually they let us go and we carried on towards Soissons.
The roads were pretty flat and once it was dark there was nothing to do except get on with it. By 9pm we arrived in Soissons and spent about half an hour trying to find food. Nothing was open even though it was a Saturday night. Eventually after splitting up we found some fast food burger place. It filled the gap. We refueled then moved on to a bar for a beer before heading out of town to find a place to camp. We saw some woods on the map and Jez suggested we make a fire. What a brilliant idea. So with that we raced out of town in search of said forest. 10 miles later we found it and made a sneaky dive into the trees before any passing cars could see us. It was quite spooky in the forest. I couldn't help thinking about The Blair Witch Project as the wind made the trees whisper to each other. The wood for the fire was quite wet but we eventually got a small flame going behind a fallen tree so that no one would see it from the road. The day had been better because it hadn't rained, but still quite slow due to headwinds. We didn't stay around the fire for too long as we were both very tired and soon fell asleep on a nice soft mattress of leaves.
Day 4: Soissons to Troyes - 94 miles
We both had a great sleep and it hadn't rained overnight which was always comforting. There is nothing worse than having to get out the bivi in the rain. I was still quite tired from the 40 hour session on Day 1 but nothing that a cup of cafe au lait wouldn't fix. We packed up even faster today. 15 minutes from getting out the sleeping bag and we were on the road. I am glad Jez doesn't like to faff around either. Get up and go! It's the best way. Our route was still heading South towards Château-Thierry where we managed to find a small bakery and butchery next to each other. A great breakfast of local sausage and pain au chocolat certainly gave us a much needed energy boost. We refueled and started the small climb out of the town. We didn't get more than a mile before Jez got a flat. The wire ring had broken and completely come out the side of the rear tyre. We managed to cut some rubber out of an old tube to support the inside which stopped the wire rubbing against the inner. At least the tyre wall hadn't split. After a speedy roadside fix we carried along the main road heading toward Troyes. The sun was out and the wind had died down a little which lifted our mood a bit.
Our high spirits were short-lived because Jez's tyre decided it wanted to split properly. The tyre now had a 2 inch slit down the side. We needed a better fix this time so found a plastic bottle on the side of the road and cut a strip out to line the inside of the tyre. Great workmanship by Jez. You can tell he lives on a boat and is good at fixing things.
"This should get us to Troyes where we can buy a new tyre."
"Hope they are open. Everything else seems closed."
"True."
We pushed on and besides a little bump every time Jez's wheel went round, his patch seemed to be holding out. It was dark by the time we reached Troyes and couldn't find a bike shop so decided the next best thing would be to go to the pub and have a beer. Beer fixes everything . . . in the short term. (Disclosure - Drinking doesn't solve your problems. Exercise might though ;-)
After warming up with beer and food we hit the road again with the plan to push on another hour or so to midnight. We only managed about half an hour when we saw a camp spot that we couldn't turn down. A little old railway hut on the side of the road complete with fireplace. It was perfect! We jumped off the bikes and went inside. The floor was dusty but clean of debris and the chimney still worked. Jez and I bounced straight into action. He went off for fire wood and I found a way of hanging our bivi bags in the doorway so passing cars wouldn't see us. Within half an hour we had a fire, hung our bikes on a hook in the wall, and were wrapped up warm. Life couldn't be better. We were just about to fall asleep happy with our little cottage when we heard a huge truck drive up and stop outside. Jez and I looked at each other nervously not wanting to speak in case they were there for something else. We could see blue lights flashing through the small gap in our bivi bag curtain. Seconds later a huge French fireman burst through. I'm not sure who got more of a fright. Us, or him seeing two dirty English guys curled up on the floor.
"Bonjour . . . bla bla bla bla bla bla," is all I understood of what Jez was saying.
"Ah, no problem. Is OK." said the smiling fireman as he put his hand out to shake ours. I stood up and my sleeping bag fell to the floor revealing my skimpy boxer shorts. Awkward!
Anyway, they were all smiles and possibly the friendliest fireman I've ever met. (Not met many mind you) By now there were 6 of them all standing around chatting and laughing. I can only imagine the banter they were having at our expense. Who could blame them. "Ze bloody English are crazy!" is probably what there were saying. After all the hoohaa had died down and the police had come as a formality to fill out some paperwork, and phone through my passport again, we managed to get to sleep. It was 2am. A long but interesting day.
Day 5: Troyes to Dijon- 92 miles
Last night's snug cottage meant a lovely warm sleep. I didn't even put my camping mattress out as the dirt was quite soft. Jez and I still found ourselves chuckling about the fact that the fire brigade had been called because some smoke was coming out of a small cottage chimney. We pushed on South towards Dijon. The sun was still out but the road was a little flat and uneventful. Both Jez and I were now firmly in autopilot mode. We were in the middle section of our adventure when the excitement you get at the beginning had worn off, and we hadn't gotten close enough to the Alps yet for it to come back again. Jez and I agreed that we should just get our heads down and try and get the miles under the belt. We cycled for hours along The River Seine which eventually was only 10 foot wide. Part of me thought it would be fun to cycle to the source, buy a canoe and then paddle it all the way back to Paris. That's definitely going on the bucket list.
By nightfall we were in Dijon and decided to have some Chinese food in France. I'm normally not a fan of Chinese food but when the French get at it (albeit Chinese people speaking French) they do it well. We pigged out on some noodles and rice, a few beers and a coffee.
After dinner we headed out of town to a forest about 10 miles South where we would camp. It was a little wet and after smoking out the entire forest we eventually managed to make a small fire. We had earlier bought a couple of cans of beer which were in our bottle cages and cracked them open as we ate some cheese and chorizo staring into the burning flames. A less eventful day but we were at least nearer the Alps which was good. By 11pm we were wrapped up in our bivi bags and fast asleep.
Day 6: Dijon to Bourg-en-Bresse - 99 miles
I didn't sleep well at all. It rained all night and water was pouring in through the opening in my bivi. By the time I got up my entire sleeping bag was wet. At least it wasn't as cold as it could have been but never the less I needed to make a plan if it rains again.
We both packed up slowly and hit the waterlogged road South. It was bitterly cold and wet and on one occasion we practically had to cycle through a lake. To make things worse Jez's inner tube kept bursting through the cut in the tyre wall. We managed to fix it again with stronger plastic which worked for a bit, but we still really needed to get a new tyre. When it's this wet you tend to not do anything except look at the road in front of you. The downhills are the worst. You get blinded by the rain and the speed makes your feet and hands completely numb. The wind had picked up again and we weren't doing more than 9mph and having to stop a lot to warm up. We even found a dead snake at one of our stops. Poor bugger! It reminded me of the time I rode over the tail of a 2 meter long snake in America. I felt so guilty. I like snakes.
We pushed on to find some food but literally everything was closed. Eventually we made it to Louhans, a town big enough for there to be something open . . . or so we thought. After cycling around the entire town we couldn't find anything. Jez eventually found a couple and asked them if they knew anywhere where we might find food. They muttered something and then jumped in their car.
"Follow them, they know somewhere," shouted Jez.
Brilliant. We followed them down the main cobbled streets which shook us to the bone trying to cycle fast enough to keep up with them. They took us to a kebab shop. Brilliant. I could do with a lamb shish. Unfortunately it too was closed and my stomach practically tied itself in a knot. I was starving. Jez had another word with them and they sped off again.
"What now?"
"They are going to look for something for us and come back if they find something."
How generous these random strangers were. We sat for no more than 3 minutes when they returned with smiles on their faces and told us to follow them again. Result! We went to the other end of town and found the only restaurant open. We left our bikes outside and went in with our new friends, Lillian and Pierre. They were from Switzerland and must have been in their 40's. We sat down and a few minutes later 4 glasses of Champagne arrived on the table. I looked confused but Lillian said they were for us. What an amazing couple. We sat and chatted. I say we - Jez sat and chatted because they couldn't speak English and I still can't speak French. Another glass of Champagne each and then just before our lunch arrived they said their goodbyes. We even exchanged postal addresses. I liked that. The cold and wet start to the day was a compete nonentity now that we had met an amazingly kind couple who, for no personal gain whatsoever, went out of their way to help two smelly English cyclist. The world needs more people like them.
Now feeling pretty happy, partly due to the two glasses of Champagne, we hit the road not caring at all that it was cold and wet. The Champagne jacket is so much warmer than the beer jacket. We headed into Bourg-en-Bresse for some late dinner, another beer and then decided to find a place to camp. It had stopped raining but we figured it might start again in the night so thought it be good to find some shelter. This plan was very short-lived because it was pretty flat around these parts. We eventually found a famers field at the back of a warehouse which seemed to make plastic palettes. I wasn't in the mood to get wet again so spent a good half an hour designing some sort of makeshift shelter. I used two of the palettes to prop up my bike at 45 degrees which made a nice shelter for my head. I was pretty happy with the setup. It could rain all it wanted. I'd be dry.
Day 7: Bourg-en-Bresse to Albertville - 85 miles
It didn't rain at all which annoyed me. I wish it had so that I could have tested out my architectural masterpiece. It was however very cold and my sleeping bag was just as wet from the condensation from my body heat. You can't win really. The first plan was to get some food and we managed to find a town within a few miles. Annoyingly Jez's tyre decided to break even further. We needed to fix it properly so decided once and for all to go big on the patching or walk home. We hit the supermarket and got some normal multi adhesive, some superglue, a needle and thread and some oil (the oil was for our chains and not for the patching) Jez then spent a good 45 minutes sewing, gluing and patching the now 3 inch slit to the tyre wall. I was very useful and watched from a distance while drinking coffee. The patch didn't look pretty but you can be sure it was probably stronger than the rest of the wheel. Jez did a great job.
Today was going to be the first time we would see part of the Alps. Both Jez and I were really excited and started our slightly Eastward route towards Chambery. The first part was quite flat as we followed the valley until we came to a huge mountain. After looking at the map we found out the only way over was up a 1000m vertical climb that was closed due to snow. So with slight nervousness because we'd be cycling in the snow on race tyres we started our way up the never-ending switchbacks. Naturally we had a few beers, some cheese and salami to fuel us. The going was steady but we felt strong. Up and up we went. I was lucky that my Rohloff Hub had 3 extra gears than Jez's derailleur which meant I didn't need to grind it out of the saddle as much. At 900m high we reached the snow. The road was closed which meant we had it to ourselves. It was quite interesting cycling in snow on race tyres. Especially being clipped in too. The trick was to keep a steady pace. Don't swerve, brake or try and speed up. Slow and steady and you wont fall over. Eventually we made it over the top and after chilling briefly on a random sofa on the side of the road we started the freezing decent into the valley of Chambery.
Chambery was a whole new level of cold. The brisk air associated with the Alps, although freezing, meant we were close. We eventually found a small restaurant and had some lasagne to warm us up. The route out and around to Albertville seemed flat and we knew we'd find a place to camp so hit the road again. We were going well until around 9.30pm when we saw a pub that was still OPEN. Very rare around these parts it seemed.
"Quick one for the road?"
"For sure."
A quick one landed up being a few pints as we chatted about adventure and cycling. Time just flew by and we were only back on the road at 11pm. Fuelled by a few beers we carried on to Albertville which was another 15 miles away. We arrived at around midnight and after making a petrol station attendant run around the shop floor as we pointed to things we wanted we found a place to camp behind a mound of earth to stop avalanches closing the road. Probably not the best place to camp but we like to live on the edge we do!
Day 8: Albertville to Val Thorens - 60 miles
I had a great sleep even though we got completely covered in frost. I had also somehow lost my cycle GPS the night before but was happy to find it still on the road camouflaged by a layer of ice. Today was the BIG day. We had a short 20 mile ride to Moutiers and then the Hors Categorie (so steep and long it's beyond categorization) climb up to 2300m in Val Thorens. Naturally we fuelled up with a burger, beer and a coffee and started on the first section of switchbacks. If we could keep a steady 5mph then we'd take 4-5 hours (with stops). The going was slow and tough but we inched up meter by meter. I kept thinking how nice it would be on a 7kg race bike and not a 20kg tourer. We were doing well until halfway when the road dropped about 200m. It was so demoralizing because it had just taken us half an hour to gain 200m. Still we pushed on. I even put my iPod in for the first time on this ride. There wasn't much talking going on anyway. Up and up we climbed, our knees hurting and our hearts bouncing off the handlebars. Eventually we were about 2 miles from the top. The sun had set, we were hungry and cold, and above us was the last series of switchbacks, which looked like a vertical ice wall. The highest switchback seemed so high above us that there was a point where Jez thought digging a snow cave to have a nap might be in order. He didn't and we pushed on. Eventually by 8pm we made it to the top. We had done it. A few of our mates were already there for skiing and ran out and welcomed us with beer. They had flown there. We had cycled. What an adventure
We spent the next few days chilling and even managed to get a postcard off to Lillian and Pierre. I'm sure they would appreciate that. Cycling to the Alps over winter seemed a daft idea at the time but turned out to be a brilliant mini adventure. It cost less than an EasyJet flight to Geneva and was one of the best weeks away.
"Best not to think of all the things that might go wrong. We'll cross those bridges when we get there", I thought!
So with a pretty lightweight setup of 20kg's, our mini adventure began.
Day 1: London to Dover - 75 miles
To get the cheap day return on P&O (£13) we had to take a daylight ferry (no idea why) so booked the 8.35am from Dover. Instead of wasting a day we decided to leave London the evening before and cycle through the night to Dover. We left Jez's boat in East London and went all of 500m before stopping at his local pub for him to say cheers to his mates. This naturally ended up with us having a pint while sorting final bits and bobs on our bikes. I am riding Maid Marian II, my RTW bike and Jez is on a Ribble Carbon. Eventually at around 8pm we left the warmth of the pub and hit the road South. Jez was clearly a confident London cycle commuter and was pushing nearly 25mph between traffic lights. I have an inherent need to conserve energy for 'tomorrow'. That’s just something you get used too when doing long tours. Jez was definitely faster than me on the flats. I'd have to step up my game to keep up.
"I'll get him on the hills though", I kept saying to myself.
By 10.30pm we had made our way out of London and past the busy M25 along the A2. We were making good progress even though I had a puncture quite early on, (pinch flat when I hit a rock while not concentrating) so decided to get a cheeky pint in at last orders in a small pub. The landlord was very friendly and a few people were amazed when we told them our plan. By 11.30pm we were on the road again and kept our heads down and by 3am we were 10 miles outside of Dover. We could get at least 3 hours sleep so found a farmers field, did some discreet trespassing and got into our bivi bags. I lay there thinking about our new mini adventure. I could tell that Jez was fit enough and we both knew how to make the most of even the worst situations. Jez has been my main crew man on a few rides as well as on RAAM coming up so knows what it's like. I was really excited about finally being able to cycle with him instead of him forcing me to drink recovery shakes. I was just drifting off when it started to rain. I pulled the bivi tight and listened to the pitter-patter on the fabric. It was quite therapeutic and should help me fall . . . . . "Beep, Beep . . .
Day 2: Dover to Arras - 95 miles
. . . Beep, Beep, Beep!"
Jez's alarm went off.
"Time to wake up mate."
What? I hadn't slept a wink. I felt OK considering I had been up for 22 hours by now but knew the grizzly bear was going to jump out and get me soon. Jez and I packed up quickly and made it to the ferry just in time. We boarded, found a place to charge our phones, and Jez went up first for food. He returned half an hour later.
"Sorry mate. By the time I knew it was going to take so long I couldn't leave the queue for paying."
"Nevermind. I think I'll skip food and try sleep."
I was breaking one of my own endurance rules - 'Food is more important than sleep' but this time I really needed some. I figured I could find some food in France. With that I curled up on 2 chairs and slept for about an hour.
The ferry got into Calais at around 11am (French time). It was raining and to add insult to injury we had a killer headwind.
"What's this Southerly? That's strange?" asked Jez.
I also thought we'd have a Northwesterly or Northerly this time of year. But we didn't and had to push along the flat boring parts of Northern France, only stopping a few times in a Tabak for some food and coffee. Things weren't going well. Our pace was right down at 9mph and there was nothing to see. Also everything in France seemed closed this time of year. Are the French in recession? If they are, then I know why. Most of the villages were like Ghost Towns.
By 7pm we needed to eat, warm up and have a beer. We were in a town called Auchel and found the only restaurant open. Turns out it wasn't a proper restaurant. You order your food and the bar lady goes next door to the kebab shop and gets it for you. Classic. Jez can luckily speak some French and it wasn't long before we were chatting to some guys at the bar. Jez was chatting. I was nodding and laughing at mostly the right places. They bought us a round of beer and even offered us a place to stay in their gymnasium down the road. We said thanks but needed to push on a bit.
We carried on and by 11pm we were in Arras. Dinner consisted of a footlong Italian BMT Subway and a few beers. Beards must be unusual in France because I saw a few people sneakily trying to take my photo through the window of the pub. I waved and they got really embarrassed and ran away. How funny!
By now we had been up for over 40 hours with only that hour of uncomfortable asleep on the ferry. I had never felt anything like it. My body was a total separate entity to my mind. My eyes were burning and my chest felt tingly. I really needed sleep. Jez looked a lot better than I did but admitted he too was tired, so after a few beers we headed out of town and found a garden next to a roundabout and lay down amongst the hedges. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard a loud bang. Jez's back inner tube had exploded. I nearly wet myself because his tyre was about a foot from my head. Oh well. Puncture repair in the morning. Fun! Slow day in the wind and rain but it felt good to be back out on an adventure.
Day 3: Arras to Soissons - 96 miles
We woke up at around 8am. A little later than expected but felt so much better for it. Sleep is so underrated. Jez fixed his tyre and we were on the road by 9am in search of food and coffee. I am glad Jez loves coffee as much as I do. We didn't find breakfast but did find a pizza vending machine and just had to try it. I'm not sure how it worked but within 3 minutes of paying a smoldering hot pizza came out the slot. It was actually very tasty. When the French to vending machines . . .
Today we decided to try and follow my GPS, which tends to take quieter roads. There was still a headwind but at least it was sunny. Our route carried on South through the rolling French countryside. Most of it was very scenic and missed the main roads, but every now and then we were taken down some pretty muddy dirt tracks. The first time was fun and added to the adventure, but the 4th time when it was dark and we were hungry certainly tested our patience. We could only go about 3mph while mud clogged up our race brakes and gave that blackboard scratching sound whenever we tried to slow down. I really must invest in some disk brakes.
By 6pm we had only done 75 miles so decided to stop at a supermarket, get some food and then push on. As we sat and ate our gourmet salami and cheese dinner in an empty car park a police van drove up and turned a spotlight as bright as the sun on us. They wondered what we were doing and we had to produce our 'papers'. Jez sailed through his checks, but my passport required a lengthy phone call to the CIA, the FBI and MI6 (probably) It might have something to do with the fact that I am clean shaven with a crew cut in my passport. Not even I believe I'm the person in the photo. Eventually they let us go and we carried on towards Soissons.
The roads were pretty flat and once it was dark there was nothing to do except get on with it. By 9pm we arrived in Soissons and spent about half an hour trying to find food. Nothing was open even though it was a Saturday night. Eventually after splitting up we found some fast food burger place. It filled the gap. We refueled then moved on to a bar for a beer before heading out of town to find a place to camp. We saw some woods on the map and Jez suggested we make a fire. What a brilliant idea. So with that we raced out of town in search of said forest. 10 miles later we found it and made a sneaky dive into the trees before any passing cars could see us. It was quite spooky in the forest. I couldn't help thinking about The Blair Witch Project as the wind made the trees whisper to each other. The wood for the fire was quite wet but we eventually got a small flame going behind a fallen tree so that no one would see it from the road. The day had been better because it hadn't rained, but still quite slow due to headwinds. We didn't stay around the fire for too long as we were both very tired and soon fell asleep on a nice soft mattress of leaves.
Day 4: Soissons to Troyes - 94 miles
We both had a great sleep and it hadn't rained overnight which was always comforting. There is nothing worse than having to get out the bivi in the rain. I was still quite tired from the 40 hour session on Day 1 but nothing that a cup of cafe au lait wouldn't fix. We packed up even faster today. 15 minutes from getting out the sleeping bag and we were on the road. I am glad Jez doesn't like to faff around either. Get up and go! It's the best way. Our route was still heading South towards Château-Thierry where we managed to find a small bakery and butchery next to each other. A great breakfast of local sausage and pain au chocolat certainly gave us a much needed energy boost. We refueled and started the small climb out of the town. We didn't get more than a mile before Jez got a flat. The wire ring had broken and completely come out the side of the rear tyre. We managed to cut some rubber out of an old tube to support the inside which stopped the wire rubbing against the inner. At least the tyre wall hadn't split. After a speedy roadside fix we carried along the main road heading toward Troyes. The sun was out and the wind had died down a little which lifted our mood a bit.
Our high spirits were short-lived because Jez's tyre decided it wanted to split properly. The tyre now had a 2 inch slit down the side. We needed a better fix this time so found a plastic bottle on the side of the road and cut a strip out to line the inside of the tyre. Great workmanship by Jez. You can tell he lives on a boat and is good at fixing things.
"This should get us to Troyes where we can buy a new tyre."
"Hope they are open. Everything else seems closed."
"True."
We pushed on and besides a little bump every time Jez's wheel went round, his patch seemed to be holding out. It was dark by the time we reached Troyes and couldn't find a bike shop so decided the next best thing would be to go to the pub and have a beer. Beer fixes everything . . . in the short term. (Disclosure - Drinking doesn't solve your problems. Exercise might though ;-)
After warming up with beer and food we hit the road again with the plan to push on another hour or so to midnight. We only managed about half an hour when we saw a camp spot that we couldn't turn down. A little old railway hut on the side of the road complete with fireplace. It was perfect! We jumped off the bikes and went inside. The floor was dusty but clean of debris and the chimney still worked. Jez and I bounced straight into action. He went off for fire wood and I found a way of hanging our bivi bags in the doorway so passing cars wouldn't see us. Within half an hour we had a fire, hung our bikes on a hook in the wall, and were wrapped up warm. Life couldn't be better. We were just about to fall asleep happy with our little cottage when we heard a huge truck drive up and stop outside. Jez and I looked at each other nervously not wanting to speak in case they were there for something else. We could see blue lights flashing through the small gap in our bivi bag curtain. Seconds later a huge French fireman burst through. I'm not sure who got more of a fright. Us, or him seeing two dirty English guys curled up on the floor.
"Bonjour . . . bla bla bla bla bla bla," is all I understood of what Jez was saying.
"Ah, no problem. Is OK." said the smiling fireman as he put his hand out to shake ours. I stood up and my sleeping bag fell to the floor revealing my skimpy boxer shorts. Awkward!
Anyway, they were all smiles and possibly the friendliest fireman I've ever met. (Not met many mind you) By now there were 6 of them all standing around chatting and laughing. I can only imagine the banter they were having at our expense. Who could blame them. "Ze bloody English are crazy!" is probably what there were saying. After all the hoohaa had died down and the police had come as a formality to fill out some paperwork, and phone through my passport again, we managed to get to sleep. It was 2am. A long but interesting day.
Day 5: Troyes to Dijon- 92 miles
Last night's snug cottage meant a lovely warm sleep. I didn't even put my camping mattress out as the dirt was quite soft. Jez and I still found ourselves chuckling about the fact that the fire brigade had been called because some smoke was coming out of a small cottage chimney. We pushed on South towards Dijon. The sun was still out but the road was a little flat and uneventful. Both Jez and I were now firmly in autopilot mode. We were in the middle section of our adventure when the excitement you get at the beginning had worn off, and we hadn't gotten close enough to the Alps yet for it to come back again. Jez and I agreed that we should just get our heads down and try and get the miles under the belt. We cycled for hours along The River Seine which eventually was only 10 foot wide. Part of me thought it would be fun to cycle to the source, buy a canoe and then paddle it all the way back to Paris. That's definitely going on the bucket list.
By nightfall we were in Dijon and decided to have some Chinese food in France. I'm normally not a fan of Chinese food but when the French get at it (albeit Chinese people speaking French) they do it well. We pigged out on some noodles and rice, a few beers and a coffee.
After dinner we headed out of town to a forest about 10 miles South where we would camp. It was a little wet and after smoking out the entire forest we eventually managed to make a small fire. We had earlier bought a couple of cans of beer which were in our bottle cages and cracked them open as we ate some cheese and chorizo staring into the burning flames. A less eventful day but we were at least nearer the Alps which was good. By 11pm we were wrapped up in our bivi bags and fast asleep.
Day 6: Dijon to Bourg-en-Bresse - 99 miles
I didn't sleep well at all. It rained all night and water was pouring in through the opening in my bivi. By the time I got up my entire sleeping bag was wet. At least it wasn't as cold as it could have been but never the less I needed to make a plan if it rains again.
We both packed up slowly and hit the waterlogged road South. It was bitterly cold and wet and on one occasion we practically had to cycle through a lake. To make things worse Jez's inner tube kept bursting through the cut in the tyre wall. We managed to fix it again with stronger plastic which worked for a bit, but we still really needed to get a new tyre. When it's this wet you tend to not do anything except look at the road in front of you. The downhills are the worst. You get blinded by the rain and the speed makes your feet and hands completely numb. The wind had picked up again and we weren't doing more than 9mph and having to stop a lot to warm up. We even found a dead snake at one of our stops. Poor bugger! It reminded me of the time I rode over the tail of a 2 meter long snake in America. I felt so guilty. I like snakes.
We pushed on to find some food but literally everything was closed. Eventually we made it to Louhans, a town big enough for there to be something open . . . or so we thought. After cycling around the entire town we couldn't find anything. Jez eventually found a couple and asked them if they knew anywhere where we might find food. They muttered something and then jumped in their car.
"Follow them, they know somewhere," shouted Jez.
Brilliant. We followed them down the main cobbled streets which shook us to the bone trying to cycle fast enough to keep up with them. They took us to a kebab shop. Brilliant. I could do with a lamb shish. Unfortunately it too was closed and my stomach practically tied itself in a knot. I was starving. Jez had another word with them and they sped off again.
"What now?"
"They are going to look for something for us and come back if they find something."
How generous these random strangers were. We sat for no more than 3 minutes when they returned with smiles on their faces and told us to follow them again. Result! We went to the other end of town and found the only restaurant open. We left our bikes outside and went in with our new friends, Lillian and Pierre. They were from Switzerland and must have been in their 40's. We sat down and a few minutes later 4 glasses of Champagne arrived on the table. I looked confused but Lillian said they were for us. What an amazing couple. We sat and chatted. I say we - Jez sat and chatted because they couldn't speak English and I still can't speak French. Another glass of Champagne each and then just before our lunch arrived they said their goodbyes. We even exchanged postal addresses. I liked that. The cold and wet start to the day was a compete nonentity now that we had met an amazingly kind couple who, for no personal gain whatsoever, went out of their way to help two smelly English cyclist. The world needs more people like them.
Now feeling pretty happy, partly due to the two glasses of Champagne, we hit the road not caring at all that it was cold and wet. The Champagne jacket is so much warmer than the beer jacket. We headed into Bourg-en-Bresse for some late dinner, another beer and then decided to find a place to camp. It had stopped raining but we figured it might start again in the night so thought it be good to find some shelter. This plan was very short-lived because it was pretty flat around these parts. We eventually found a famers field at the back of a warehouse which seemed to make plastic palettes. I wasn't in the mood to get wet again so spent a good half an hour designing some sort of makeshift shelter. I used two of the palettes to prop up my bike at 45 degrees which made a nice shelter for my head. I was pretty happy with the setup. It could rain all it wanted. I'd be dry.
Day 7: Bourg-en-Bresse to Albertville - 85 miles
It didn't rain at all which annoyed me. I wish it had so that I could have tested out my architectural masterpiece. It was however very cold and my sleeping bag was just as wet from the condensation from my body heat. You can't win really. The first plan was to get some food and we managed to find a town within a few miles. Annoyingly Jez's tyre decided to break even further. We needed to fix it properly so decided once and for all to go big on the patching or walk home. We hit the supermarket and got some normal multi adhesive, some superglue, a needle and thread and some oil (the oil was for our chains and not for the patching) Jez then spent a good 45 minutes sewing, gluing and patching the now 3 inch slit to the tyre wall. I was very useful and watched from a distance while drinking coffee. The patch didn't look pretty but you can be sure it was probably stronger than the rest of the wheel. Jez did a great job.
Today was going to be the first time we would see part of the Alps. Both Jez and I were really excited and started our slightly Eastward route towards Chambery. The first part was quite flat as we followed the valley until we came to a huge mountain. After looking at the map we found out the only way over was up a 1000m vertical climb that was closed due to snow. So with slight nervousness because we'd be cycling in the snow on race tyres we started our way up the never-ending switchbacks. Naturally we had a few beers, some cheese and salami to fuel us. The going was steady but we felt strong. Up and up we went. I was lucky that my Rohloff Hub had 3 extra gears than Jez's derailleur which meant I didn't need to grind it out of the saddle as much. At 900m high we reached the snow. The road was closed which meant we had it to ourselves. It was quite interesting cycling in snow on race tyres. Especially being clipped in too. The trick was to keep a steady pace. Don't swerve, brake or try and speed up. Slow and steady and you wont fall over. Eventually we made it over the top and after chilling briefly on a random sofa on the side of the road we started the freezing decent into the valley of Chambery.
Chambery was a whole new level of cold. The brisk air associated with the Alps, although freezing, meant we were close. We eventually found a small restaurant and had some lasagne to warm us up. The route out and around to Albertville seemed flat and we knew we'd find a place to camp so hit the road again. We were going well until around 9.30pm when we saw a pub that was still OPEN. Very rare around these parts it seemed.
"Quick one for the road?"
"For sure."
A quick one landed up being a few pints as we chatted about adventure and cycling. Time just flew by and we were only back on the road at 11pm. Fuelled by a few beers we carried on to Albertville which was another 15 miles away. We arrived at around midnight and after making a petrol station attendant run around the shop floor as we pointed to things we wanted we found a place to camp behind a mound of earth to stop avalanches closing the road. Probably not the best place to camp but we like to live on the edge we do!
Day 8: Albertville to Val Thorens - 60 miles
I had a great sleep even though we got completely covered in frost. I had also somehow lost my cycle GPS the night before but was happy to find it still on the road camouflaged by a layer of ice. Today was the BIG day. We had a short 20 mile ride to Moutiers and then the Hors Categorie (so steep and long it's beyond categorization) climb up to 2300m in Val Thorens. Naturally we fuelled up with a burger, beer and a coffee and started on the first section of switchbacks. If we could keep a steady 5mph then we'd take 4-5 hours (with stops). The going was slow and tough but we inched up meter by meter. I kept thinking how nice it would be on a 7kg race bike and not a 20kg tourer. We were doing well until halfway when the road dropped about 200m. It was so demoralizing because it had just taken us half an hour to gain 200m. Still we pushed on. I even put my iPod in for the first time on this ride. There wasn't much talking going on anyway. Up and up we climbed, our knees hurting and our hearts bouncing off the handlebars. Eventually we were about 2 miles from the top. The sun had set, we were hungry and cold, and above us was the last series of switchbacks, which looked like a vertical ice wall. The highest switchback seemed so high above us that there was a point where Jez thought digging a snow cave to have a nap might be in order. He didn't and we pushed on. Eventually by 8pm we made it to the top. We had done it. A few of our mates were already there for skiing and ran out and welcomed us with beer. They had flown there. We had cycled. What an adventure
We spent the next few days chilling and even managed to get a postcard off to Lillian and Pierre. I'm sure they would appreciate that. Cycling to the Alps over winter seemed a daft idea at the time but turned out to be a brilliant mini adventure. It cost less than an EasyJet flight to Geneva and was one of the best weeks away.
