So I joined a gym last week and went there today for my first session. First thing to note is I got some very weird looks from other pool members regarding my beard. I can just about pull the beard off when up on a mountain or wearing adventure clothing, but when it's just my skinny body with pasty white skin and I'm in a speedo, the beard really does look ridiculous. One lady even asked if my beard caused drag. I couldn't answer as I hadn't even jumped in jet. As with all pools there are three lanes. A slow, medium and fast lane. There was a retired old man doing upside-down breaststroke in the medium lane going about 0.00002mph so I had to literally jump in at the deep end with the 'fast' people. This was going to get embarrassing.
So jumped in (no diving allowed) and did my first two lengths. To be honest. I felt good. I was doing 'both side' breathing and when I actually remembered to kick I was just about keeping up with the fast guys . . . actually they were girls. I carried on and did another 6 lengths and then realised I was holding one of the girls up so stopped and hid in the corner to let her go ahead of me. I needed a breather anyway. Also my goggles were steaming up (Any tips there by the way?) I rested for a bit and then carried on. I managed another slow 10 lengths and then got loads of water in my ear. I successfully looked like an idiot while trying to bang the water out. It didn't work. Oh well. Maybe that's what happens when you swim. You get wet ears. I carried on for another 20 minutes, having to break every 4 lengths to catch my breath and let one of the girls pass me. Eventually after about 40 lengths I had slightly sore ears and my shoulder (the one I dislocated cheese rolling) started to hurt.
So with much embarrassment and looking like a tit trying to jump out the pool like Tom Daley does after a dive I slunk away to the shower room. You'd think I'd have felt better now but no. I felt worse. In the shower I started to feel very nauseous and wanted to be sick. I have never felt like this before. I have since done some research and some people say I was swaying too much in the water and made myself seasick . . . in a pool. How embarrassing! How am I going to cope in the actual sea?
So there we have it. My pathetic first attempt at swimming properly. Things I've learned??? Um. I need a shave!